why do we have butt cheeks i dont understand why did we evolve this way

what use do butt cheeks have 


fun fact: butt-cheeks are one of the things that make us superior to other animals okay note that other apes do not have butt-cheeks

okay don’t quote me on this because I only did sixthform-bio and I’m sure of forgotten loads of stuff but here’s the down-low

back when we were evolving from ape to human, one of the most important things that happened was when our spine started meeting our brains at a sort of 90 degree angle instead of like 45 degrees, which meant that we could straighten up and walk on two legs which was a pretty rad development

except alas oh no our muscles weren’t built to allow us to walk around on two legs because that requires a sort of twisty motion of your hips as opposed to whatever the fuck it is everything else does AND SO ape-people started evolving with longer, narrower waists so that our bodies could twist with every footstep and we could strut along the fashionable catwalk that is neanderthal evolution

but then once this had happened, people realised that we had an advantage over other animals and we would be better at chasing and killing them but we weren’t very good at running

so that’s when we developed the glutenus maximus which is a really badass-sounding name for the muscle in your derriere which helps us to support our spine in an upright position so we don’t get tired, and helps the legs to rotate nicely so that we can run, and has a nice big fat storage around it to help us get energy so that we can run

and that, basically, is the butt-cheek

tl;dr - butt-cheeks were the result of thousands of years of natural selection so that we could run fast and slaughter things

thank you so much for such a fabulous, informative and detailed explanation on the evolution of the butt

i feel enlightened and empowered to know my butt is for such a worthwhile purpose, so thank you 

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