fuck dating girls who are “naturally pretty.” date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien
My uni students asked me if they had homework for the holidays and I felt so bad for them and their tired, dead eyes that I told them to just mail me pics of their favorite pokemons.
Three students sent me digimons I can’t fucking trust them with anything I give up
Found a paper I wrote in 5th grade that I got an ‘f’ on.
My prompt was “Imagine you are sitting on a cloud, what would you do or see”
"I would see the ground as I fell because I would fall through it because in science you told us that clouds were just water mists."
haha yeah man lets do heroin just lemme ask my mom
Every time I think of the black market, I actually imagine a market, with little stalls selling illegal things like nuclear weapons and organs.
I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE
WAIT SO THAT’S NOT WHAT IT IS
no we don’t use that room there was once a spider in it